Friday Mornings Have Me Like

Even though it’s only Wednesday, I’m writing this post about Friday mornings because since it’s Halloween weekend, I’m going to assume that at this time tomorrow I will be busy participating in other activities.

Have you ever seen that vine of the cute little girl springing out of bed with adorable bed head and sleepy eyes after she had just been woken up? That is an entirely accurate depiction of me waking up on a Friday morning for my 9:30 class after a night out on the town. Of course, I don’t look as cute as the baby in the vine when I wake up, and I can guarantee a couple of choice words follow my “what.”

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Pros and Cons of Having a House off Campus

Living off campus has its many pros and cons, as one can imagine. As a freshman and sophomore, I always looked forward to one day moving into a house in town, living with my best friends, having house parties and being close enough to walk home from the bar without freezing my ass off. Last year, as a sophomore, I lived in an apartment with five other girls. However, the apartment was still considered on campus, and I still had a roommate and a meal plan. So it wasn’t the real deal.

This year I live in a house, most know it as the “Doll House, ” with five of my best friends here at Bonas. How awesome does that sound? Six girls living under one roof having the time of their lives as upperclassman college students. And for the most part, it is awesome! When we have house parties here, I get to do two of my favorite things in the whole world- boss people around and kick people out of my house. The best part is asking the freshmen who try to come in questions like , “Who do you know here?” and watching them panic because they don’t actually know me or any of my roommates. Is that evil? Maybe, but I had to go through it as a freshman so I think I’ve earned my right to be a brat. Besides having parties, I also love the nights where my roommates and I all snuggle into the couches in our family room and watch T.V., or when we all dance around like idiots in our kitchen to Justin Bieber’s new hit single.

Now, as glamorous as this all seems, there are also plenty of cons about living in a house with six girls that I can list off the top of my head. First of all, our kitchen is never clean for more than an hour. We let our kitchen get pretty gross before one of us decides we can’t stand it anymore and gets elbow deep in kitchen grease and God knows what else. One time, I spent almost two hours on that damn kitchen and I kid you not, an hour later there were already dishes in the sink and crumbs on the ground. Also, we don’t have the luxury of a cleaning staff like we did when we were on campus, so our bathrooms get pretty gross as well. Let me just repeat myself… six girls, two bathrooms. Disgusting.

Funny story actually- one time at one of our parties someone must have decided that our bathroom needed a good cleaning because I woke up the next morning to find my face wash splattered all over my bathroom walls. Like I wasn’t aware that it was that gross but thanks so much for taking the initiative to clean my bathroom, drunk kids. Thanks so much.

I bitch a lot about how disgusting my house gets and how people are so disrespectful at parties and do shit like finger paint with my face wash, or punch three holes in our wall, or steal our patio furniture, or pick a traffic cone up off the street and hide it in our family room, (all of this is true, by the way)- but in all honesty, I love my house and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. Well actually I’d probably fix the holes in the walls.

holes in the wall

A Juicy Contradiction

Just for fun, I looked up the term “Halloween” on Urban Dictionary. It read:

“An annual excuse for girls to dress like sluts and get away with it.”

How perfectly accurate. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing on every girl who decides to show off a little extra skin on that one eerie night, (or weekend if you’re in college). I myself, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, have tried to pull off the “sexy cop” look my freshman year here at Bonas. Of course, now that I look back at it, I realize I looked absolutely ridiculous. But at the time, it was fun to dress up and feel extra pretty with my best friends for a night!

Halloween weekend is one of the easiest weekends one can determine what year each girl is.

The freshman girls are the Regina Georges on campus. Mom and dad aren’t there to judge so they really feel the need to show off what they weren’t allowed to at home. Girls, if you’re going to be a slut on Halloween, at least be an original slut. No tight, short, black dresses and cat ears please.

regina george

The sophomore girls have probably realized at this point that what they wore last year might not have been the smartest, classiest idea. Also, they haven’t forgotten that feeling of freezing their asses off when walking to that one house party off campus in a mini skirt and 5 inch heels. At this point, they’re being smart and wearing something a little warmer, a little less slutty.

minions

The junior girls have since realized, with two years of experience, that the best costumes are not the sluttiest, but the most creative/the funniest. Since they are now considered upperclassman, they don’t feel the need to be the hottest girl at the party, but rather the coolest or funniest. For example, some of the ideas flying around my house right now include a group of friars (since Bonas is a Franciscan school), all different types of dolls (because we live in the Doll House), and Steve (the bouncer at the Burton).

doll costumefriars

There are two types of senior girls: the girls who are still concerned with having a creative costume and looking the coolest, and the ones who simply say screw it I’ll just throw a sheet over my head and call it a night. Let’s go to the bars and get drunk! I have a feeling I’m heading towards the latter.

facebook

These are just a collection of observations I have made since the beginning of my time here at Bonas. Obviously, there are exceptions, so don’t get offended if this doesn’t apply to you. Also, if you are offended by this, stop being so damn sensitive. I hate that.

Another thing, let’s talk about what a juicy contradiction the concept of Halloween night is compared to every other day of the year. When you were a kid, how many times did your parents say things like, “Don’t talk to strangers,” or “Even if a stranger says he has candy, you still shouldn’t get in to his van.” But on Halloween, your parents literally say, “Hey kids! How about you walk around the neighborhood, knock on every strangers door you can find, and ask them for some candy.”

Hmm…

A Message From the Queen

Beyonce

Just a quick message from the queen herself on this fine Monday morning. Beyonce Knowles is a legend. She’s a 34 year old singer-songwriter, record producer, actress, dancer and businesswoman with an estimated net worth of $250 million. If Beyonce says you can do it, you listen!

Also just a quick message to all the men out there who think us ladies can’t live without you- what exactly can you do for me that I can’t do for myself?

Strong Women Rule.

Top Ten Hotties on Netflix

This post is just for fun! A list of the top ten hottest actors on Netflix, in my opinion. God I love these men. Enjoy 😉

10. jim the office

Jim Halpert (The Office) : Although John Krasinski may be a little bit on the older side, his goofy and loving character on The Office makes him 100 times more attractive.

9. Matt Saracen

Matt Saracen (Friday Night Lights) : Matty Saracen is kind of like the boy next door. He’s super shy but would do anything for the people he loves in his life. So cute!

8. michael scoflied

Michael Scofield (Prison Break) : Michael is a brilliant, sexy badass. What else could you possibly want?

7. damon salvatore

Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries) : Although Damon is a selfish, arrogant bastard, his love for Elena and his dry sense of humor makes him extremely attractive. Those eyes also help just a little bit.

6. Nathan Scott

Nathan Scott (One Tree Hill) : Nathan is every teenage girls’ ultimate crush. He’s sexy, sensitive, funny, and the way he loves Haley could melt your heart.

5. chuck bass

Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl) : He’s Chuck Bass. That’s all.

4. Conde

Louie Conde (Reign) : Louie starts off as Mary Queen of Scotland’s friend, but soon sneaks into her heart and (lucky her), her bed. He is just so handsome it hurts.

3. Tyler Vampire Diaries

Tyler Lockwood (The Vampire Diaries) : UGH! Look at that face! That bod! I just can’t. The show isn’t that great after the first season, but I can’t stop watching it because of this man!

2. Jax Teller

Jax Teller (Sons of Anarchy) : Jax-effing-Teller. Even his anger issues are attractive. He’s the bossman of a motorcycle gang with a soft spot for the love of his life and his adorable child. ugh.

  1. tim riggins 2

Tim Riggins (Friday Night Lights) : The number one hottie in all of T.V. history. On paper, he sounds like a trainwreck. He’s a teenage alcoholic who sleeps with his best friend’s girlfriend. He always does what he wants, no matter what it is. He skips school and has no intention of going to college.  But somehow, it just works on him. You’d have to watch him on the show to understand the appeal. Also, that face breaks a million hearts a day.

These are, in my opinion, the top ten hottest men on Netflix. I can’t imagine any of these shows without these beautiful men as the leading actors. Thank God for all of your mothers!

The Bona Bubble: A Blessing and a Curse

Whenever someone refers to the “bona bubble,” I can’t help but imagine Sandy Cheeks’ home in Bikini Bottom and all of us crammed under it.

sandy's home

Bonaventure has a very close-knit community on and off campus. Right now I believe Bonas has roughly around 2,300 undergrad and grad students living on or around campus. I myself live in a house in the town of Allegany, about two minutes away from campus.

As you can imagine, when the weather starts to change and the air gets a little colder, everyone starts to feel that little annoying scratch in their throat and that even more annoying runny nose. I’m sure this happens at every college or university, but the rate at which sickness spreads at Bonaventure is actually kind of scary.

Last year I lived in an apartment with five other girls. During the winter, the stomach flu started going around and I kid you not, the sickness spread through my apartment like wildfire. We each shared a room with one other girl, and the flu literally went down the line of rooms. I was the last to get hit, but you better bet your ass I got sick.

I’m writing about this because I’m currently sick with a cold. A sore, scratchy throat, a runny nose, a headache- the whole package. What’s worse is almost everyone I know is also sick, so it’s like we are just one big pool of gross sick people and we all live not five minutes away from each other. Are you picturing the Black Death that struck during the Middle Ages? Because I am. It’s gross, and no one is safe! Just take your meds, drink some tea and take lots of naps. That’s what I do!

By the way, whose idea was it to create a squirrel from Texas in an astronaut suit  and a talking yellow sponge that lives in a pineapple and make them best friends that live under the ocean? Genius.

I Have a Tattoo, so I’m Trashy and Irresponsible. Right?

Ahh the age old debate.

Why would you put a bumper sticker on a Lamborghini?

You’ll regret it when you’re 75 and saggy!

You’ll never get a job!

These are just some of the arguments that I have encountered in regards to getting a tattoo. Do tattoos make people look trashy and irresponsible? Would you lose respect for someone if you found out they had a tattoo of a unicorn on their ankle? For some people, these statements are true. But really, how sad is that? Why in the world are you so concerned with what is on MY body? I can promise you that having a tattoo does not affect how my brain works in any way.

It’s 2015 people, get with the program. Tattoos aren’t what they used to be. Now, I can only speak for myself of course, but I think people should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies with no consequences from others. People use tattoos to express themselves, to feel unique and to show off how freaking cool they are. Honestly, if I see you have a tattoo, I think “badass” and  immediately want to be friends with you. You had the confidence to endure that much pain in order to show off your uniqueness. People with tattoos aren’t afraid of what some stuffy, privileged old man thinks of them. They do what they want and SCREW EVERYONE ELSE. Why wouldn’t you want to live life like that? We are the new generation, we can set the standards wherever we want to.

Maybe not all people think like that, and that’s fine. Some people think tattoos make you look dumb and uneducated. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But I don’t like you.

I got my tattoo when I was 18 years old. I always wanted one and I knew that when the second I was of age I was going to get one. My parents were not happy when they found out, (sorry mom and dad, you’re probably reading this with your hands over your eyes). But I’ve always been the kind of person who does exactly what she wants, even as a little kid.

My tattoo means a lot to me. Ever since I was about 13 years old, I have struggled with depression and anxiety. For a long time, I let it consume me. I let it control my life. I was always in pain for some reason. And the worst part was most of the time, I didn’t even know why. But one day, I decided to put my big girl pants on and, essentially, stop being such a little bitch. I decided I was stronger than the disease and I wasn’t going to let it control my life anymore. Every day is a blessing. Every day I wake up thinking, I’m going to make this day my bitch. Every day I take life by the balls, look it in the eyes and say “this is my day.”

Yes, that’s very intense. But I’m not afraid anymore and I’m proud to say it. Once I realized this, I knew exactly what I wanted written on my body. Permanently.

“With Pain Comes Strength”. Tatted right on my ribs under my heart. And every day I look at it in the mirror and use it as a reminder that even the worst of days have meaning.

So, old man in the stuffy suit interviewing me for the job, are you not going to hire me because I have a tattoo? Yeah? Then shit, why would I want to work for you anyways?

tattoos

Most likely To: Lose Everything and Anything Ever

losingstuff

If you know me at all, you know that this is 100% me.

I should win the award for losing the most shit out of anyone I know. Actually, no that’s a bad idea, I’d probably lose that too. Maybe just send me an e-mail that I won.

Just for the fun of it, here is a list of SOME of the things that I have managed to lose this semester already:

  1. My Wallet (including my drivers license, credit cards, student ID card, my fake ID(( which by the way is by far the most devastating loss)), my insurance card and all my cash).
  2. My car Keys
  3. My house keys
  4. My phone
  5. My ipad
  6. One of my favorite purses
  7. My Fossil Watch
  8. My Face Wash (not kidding)
  9. My shoes
  10. And my laundry detergent

I have found most of these things, thank God, but my heart still hurts a little bit more each time I realize I can’t find something else I need.

As I’m sure you can imagine, the general time I lose these items are on the weekends. I kid you not, every Saturday and Sunday (and sometimes Friday) mornings I wake up, the first thing I do is check to see if I brought everything home with me that I brought out the night before. When I finally find my wallet under my pants and the contents of my purse scattered around my family room and realize I have everything, I literally give myself a pat on the back. Like I physically reach around, pat myself on the back and say to myself, “good job Julia, you did good.” This has happened on more than one occasion.

Is this just me, or do other people do this?

Netflix and Chill: The Tragic Story of How this Generation has Hit Rock Bottom

For those of you who don’t know, “Netflix and Chill” is a phrase this generation has created as a way to ask one another to hang out. Usually, when someone asks you to “Netflix and Chill,” they’re really asking:

Do you want to come over and hang out on my gross dorm room bed which God knows what else has been on it and watch a poorly made LifeTime movie while I awkwardly touch your leg and occasionally side glance at your chest.

Sure, sounds great see you soon. NOT. Are you kidding me? This is what romance has come to? What happened to asking me to grab a cup of coffee or a bite to eat? What happened to flowers and opening doors and goodnight kisses?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love just relaxing and hanging out occasionally. But if you’re asking me to “Netflix and Chill” right after we first meet, I’m going to say I’d honestly rather shoot myself in the foot or like in the arm or something. If I want to watch Netflix, I’m going to do it in the safety of my own comfy bed while funneling a bag of popcorn into my mouth.

The ONLY thing worse than boys thinking asking to “Netflix and Chill” is an acceptable thing to do, is girls who say things like, “I’m not the kind of girl who wants to go on dates and have you buy me dinner, I honestly just want to Netflix and Chill.” You, sweetie, are the worst kind of person. I have heels higher than your standards. Have some respect for yourself! Don’t be ashamed to say “hey guy, treat me like a lady or leave me alone.”

Does this make me a brat? A Princess? 20 years ago- absolutely not. This was the only acceptable way of thinking. In 2015 though? Most likely. Which is really shitty.

I only hope that there are still some men out there who respect this way of thinking, because I’m not changing my mind anytime soon.

Dear Girls Who Glisten,

There are two types of girls you see at the gym –

glistening girls

Ones who look like this.

me at the gym

And me.

Why must you look pretty at the gym? Who told you that was a good idea? Why do you glisten when I sweat like a fat man running a marathon? These are all questions I would love to hear the answers to. When I leave the gym, my shirt and hair are drenched and I smell like a homeless man. I’m just being honest – sorry if it’s gross. I don’t drive all the way across town (about a quarter of a mile, thanks Olean) to waste my time at the gym lifting three pound weights and stretching in the mirror with a full face of makeup. If that is your daily workout, do yourself a favor and STAY HOME. Everyone knows you’re just there to get attention. Also, it just pisses me off that you look good and I look bad. So stop looking good at the gym. Please. That’s all.

Sincerely,

Girls who aren’t afraid to sweat